Don't you love it when you wake up happy, refreshed, excited about the day? It's been a while for me but I still remember how great it feels and I'm excited to be coming back to that.
For so long, even as a child, I would be confused when I'd wake up in the morning cranky. I could rationalize that no one pestered me in the moments before I woke, no one stuck my hand in a bowl of warm water or dumped ice water on my head, no incessant whining in my ears, no bed-mate kicking me to the floor. So why? How could I be feeling so awful when nothing bad has happened and I should be feeling refreshed and happy? The answer came to me from a friend who was trying diligently to help me out of a hard situation. He knew that I had gone through some life changing events and had been around some sort of dysfunction most of my life. One day I finally told him that my soul was weary; to the very depths of my being I wanted to feel absolutely nothing. I was that tired of my life and everything I had allowed into it (some knowingly and some unknowingly). And he said when you're awake you consciously guard everything that you feel needs protecting (your heart, your feelings/emotions, your beliefs, your ego, your ideas/opinions, etc). But when you fall asleep your conscious mind gives up to the subconscious mind where we keep all our true feelings, our hurts and fears hidden. And because your conscious mind is no longer "guarding the gate" all of your true feelings, hurts and fears come to the surface in an effort from your subconscious to get you to deal with them. Your body naturally eliminates physical toxins and your mind naturally eliminates mental and emotional toxins. But because we make a conscious effort to guard everything and keep our emotional selves "locked up" the toxic emotions/thoughts/feelings can't be dealt with appropriately or efficiently. So when this happens it's a sign that you need to take some time to be introspective, pray, meditate, take care of yourself, flush your mind of everything ill.
BLING!!!!!!!!! Everything clicked! It made so much sense. And although this may be trivial to many one more weight had been lifted. One more step had been taken to get back my true, beautiful self. And as I sat there contemplating what he had said, soaking it all in, the sun became a little brighter as if God, Mother Nature, and all the angels were nudging me towards that beautiful journey back to Me. There are times when you feel inexpressible gratitude for the blessings that come your way and this is one of them.
By the way, I personally don't believe we have a conscious and subconscious mind. I believe it is all one.
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