Habit is Habit

" Habit is habit, and not to be flung out the window by any man, but coaxed down the stairs one step at a time."       ~  Mark Twain ~



I used to jump all over myself when I made a mistake.  I used to tear myself down in an effort to beat the insufferable belittling of others.  And I was miserable.  You know that little voice in your head that says, " there's a better way" or " life has the potential to be so much greater than this " or " you're worth more than what you're allowing into your life "....you know, THAT voice ?  Well, I believed it.  The only problem was I didn't know how to get from where I was to where I wanted to be.  The first thought that came to my mind was to ask those closest to me.  If they're doing better than you are, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, mentally, then I'd say that's a wise information source to follow.  However, if your emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, financial brains are wearing question marks whenever you're around them, you may want to drink the water from a different trough.  For example, and this is a common one, people want to give you relationship advice yet their relationships are in shambles.  Someone who yells to get a point across is telling you how to communicate.  Someone who doesn't budget and who's name is common to collection agencies is teaching you how to invest.
HMMM.....
I made these mistakes over and over again.  On one hand my brain was saying, " I know these people the best, I'm closest to them and they're closest to me.  There is no way they would steer me wrong.  I can trust them."  And on the other side of my brain the conversation looked something like this, " Yes, I know them well, but that doesn't mean they know best.  They know what they've been taught which is not always correct.  Find answers for yourself."  Once I finally started listening to my wiser self things started to click.  And here is what I think now.
Never, NEVER put yourself down.  You and I are the most genius, the most beautiful, the most creative, the most compassionate, the most confident, the most happy, no-limits creations and our talents are abundant, our possibilities are limitless.  We are divine.  When we make mistakes, NO BIG DEAL.  We are here to learn, explore, and enjoy, not to complain, judge, and belittle.  And mistakes are the best way to learn, explore, and enjoy life.  We are taught many untruths when it comes to mistakes.  We are taught that mistakes make you weak when in fact they strengthen.  We are taught that you are the best when you have 100% success when the truth is you learn very little and are extremely naive and vulnerable from 100% success.  We are taught that if you don't get it right the first time you will be judged harshly.  And we are.  I have heard someone say that " my reputation is none of my business."  And I have to agree.  My reputation is simply made up of other peoples' opinions of me, good or bad, which has absolutely nothing to do with how I live unless I let it. So maybe you're asking, "If mistakes are good, why am I not healthy, wealthy, and wise by now? I've been making mistakes my entire life."  If you allow your reputation to become your business, you will forget who you are and who you were born to be.  And once you let other peoples' opinions of you become important to you, you stop learning because "mistakes are bad, mistakes are something that should always laden us with shame and embarrassment."  When you allow your focus to be on anything negative it becomes like the monkey's fist; until you let go you can't do anything else with your life but hold a bunch of nuts!
STEP ONE
Habit is habit but it's not impossible to change.  Let go of the self-deprecation when you make a mistake.  Your soul will thank you.

Quietjewel